"The knight slays the dragon and then lives happily ever after with the princess in the castle, but when they've moved in together, they have to share a bathroom. How do you keep love alive in a domestic situation? What is it about that that dismantles love?"
-Ryan Gosling
KNIGHT: Honey, you’ve been in the bathroom for an hour already! Are you almost done?
PRINCESS: Excuse me, but I had to wait in that stupid tower for “an eternity” before you finally showed up. Who are you to tell me about waiting? (opens the door) Stop whining.
KNIGHT: Whining?! Who had to risk his precious body to slay that dragon when you were crying out?
PRINCESS: Don’t you try that again. You’re not the only one who’s slain a dragon before. I’m sure lots of other handsome men would have done the same – men that actually put the damn toilet seat down.
KNIGHT: For God’s sake, I’m a knight! Knights don’t care about insignificant things like toilet seats.
PRINCESS: Apparently, they don’t care about aiming for the bowl either.
We all know how the fairy tale ends – the strong, dashing knight in armor sweeps the beautiful princess off her feet and onto his gleaming white horse as they ride off into the magnificent sunset. As the story fades to a close, we see a heartwarming image of their intertwined lives in the future, complete with double rainbows, blue skies, prancing rabbits and a choir of birds, serenading the lovers as they continue off to the castle. And at last, we are met with the iconic phrase of fairy tales: “and they lived happily ever after.”
Or did they?
In the vast majority of fairy tales, the knight saves the day and then marries the beautiful princess. All is well in the Kingdom, for the monster of the land has been slain. The End.
Well, I hate to burst your bubble, Mr. and Mrs. Knight, but the story has only just gotten started. Remember know that fat, flaming dragon you had to kill? Well, it turns out that the dragon was just a little warm-up for what’s coming next.
Take a moment to look at your lover face. Study it closely. Try to remember all your "firsts" as a couple -- the first time you met, your first date, your first anniversary, your first vacation.
But eventually you will look into those same eyes and see not "firsts," but "lasts." The last time you would trust him to go out alone with female coworkers. The last time you would let her sign up for yet another credit card. The last time you would ever say "I love you."
By no means do I understand all the intricacies of marriage, but judging from today’s divorce rates, neither do the majority of first-marriage couples. As unromantic and vile as it may sound, love really isn't something that you can depend on to stay constant in a continuously evolving world. Perhaps in middle school and all those delusional fairy tales, love at first sight and blind infatuation are all that matter. But all too often, that initial spark of first love doesn't last.
Sooner or later, maybe those daily kisses on the cheek will turn into a somber “Hi” or even a mere nod. For every conflict that arises, a marriage based solely on romantic infatuation weakens. “How are we supposed to pay these bills?” “Why did you buy another designer-brand purse?” “Why don’t we go out anymore?” “Why can’t you put the toilet seat down?” In all honesty, it's pretty difficult to be romantic towards someone who is berating you for your mistakes.
Arguably, the real “dragon” that the knight must conquer is not that oversized lizard with fiery breath, but the challenge of building a marriage that holds to their wedding vows: till death do us part.
A marriage is not meant to be like some prepackaged microwave dinner that you can just buy and enjoy. It takes serious and dedicated effort on both sides to work, a requirement that some are unable to meet.
I don’t think it is “true love” when the princess finally meets her one and only knight and gets married right after.
Indeed, that’s probably why those fairy tale authors never included what happened afterwards. It’s too depressing to accept that true love isn’t about romantic infatuation, but about the perseverance needed to keep that initial spark alive long after romantic infatuation has phased out.
No pain no gain.
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