To the inspiration of 9001 words

In all honesty, there really isn't much of a need for me to write on this page. I've been extremely open with you, and there may not be that much left for me to say.

But there are some things. The things that I, no matter how close I am to the person, simply do not have the emotional transparency to say in person. You already know that yes, I consider you my best friend, and in many ways, my only friend. What do I have to say is that, though we both say that yeah, we probably could have found another person to fill the other's place, it doesn't change the fact that, given how all the stars and dots aligned, you were that person for this young man, for this high school, for this time period.

Maybe you joined me on the other side a few years later, but even then, more than my sister and my mother, you've been the most influential in shaping my personality. I guess your peers really do mean even more in terms of maturation than the family you spend all your time with at home.

I feel that we both still have the most dramatic years of change ahead of us, however. Though at the moment, I genuinely feel like I wouldn't have become the Ryan Chow I am today if you hadn't agreed to do 7th grade drama with me, chances are that in the next four years, you're going to build an even stronger bond with your new best friend. And so will I. But there's no sense devaluing the friendship that we've built over the most critical part of our lives so far; though something else is inevitably on the horizon, I'm glad we've come full circle to learn to appreciate the present because of its temporality and fragility.

We've got our feet in the door already, man. We've both worked our fucking asses off to blow past all the bouncers, the assholes, and the thousands of other hard working Asian males to earn our spot in the house. But that's not going to be the end of our journey. We're going to climb up the ten million flights of stairs in that house, and we're going to rise to something greater. By the time we reach the top, the sun will have already set and the stars will have already come out. But shit man, those stars are going to be beautiful.

Thank you for the most empowering and influential friendship I've ever had,
Ryan Chow

The first mother's day.

There once was a woman that was far wiser than most
Who, though her son rarely put away his dishes and tissues
Still prepared and buttered his toast.

Friends often asked for her advice, no matter her clothing or shoes
For they knew that unique to her alone
When it came to people she best understood the issues.

 In a world of many sayers but few doers, she truly shone
Becoming known as a singular woman of decisive action
For her perseverance and open embrace of the unknown.

Yet her story was never centered on herself or her ambition
She wanted the best for her family, she would often say
Sacrificing her own dreams to help others bring theirs to fruition.

Though I don't say it enough, thank you for showing me the way
For it is you who has guided me to where I am today.

Happy Mother's Day.

Time and medicine

Time heals all wounds.

And time wounds all bonds. Doesn't it?

Blind discipline

"Discipline is sacrifice. Yes, and blindness."

Supposedly, the life of a successful person
Is dominantly characterized by discipline.
He doesn't go to any bars after work.
She goes to work at 7:30 every morning, so she can maximize her productivity.
They both gave up five consecutive summers for summer classes and research.
That's discipline, we say.

Give up X and Y, and in return, get Z.
Sacrifice X and Y and everything else, for the sake of Z.
And hopefully, that Z is worth the price of the rest.

But will you ever really know?
Will you ever know for sure, just what X and Y were?
Or A? Or B? Or C?
Anything but that one and only, Z?

You can't know, because you've never experienced them.
So you plow on ahead with what you've got.
With your precious little Z
That you've given up so much for.

And over time, you force yourself to forget about the other letters.
There's no sense regretting the past, you say to yourself.
You close your ears to everyone else and their X's, their Y's, their ABC's.

You shut your eyes and your mind
And then you are truly blind.