An analysis of a person in my life

Funny how I never noticed the irony of this whole philosophizing thing.

It starts with some realization, imposed or not, then gives way to a cascade of other realizations. For you, your existential crises were as generic as they come: we really don't have a purpose in life; nothing would really change if I disappeared; everybody has to die eventually.

As you went along, you reflected on what a mindless fool you were just a few weeks ago, leading you to think that you're special in that way, somehow apart and more aware than your unenlightened counterparts. Curious and confused, you wanted to tell people about it. Wake up, guys, you tried to tell your friends as subtly as possible.

You began constructing new friendships, unearthing different modes of thought and insight. You saw how complicated their lives were, and shared in their troubles as did they for yours. Now, in the span of an hour, you were able to get to know people better than your junior year self ever could when given an entire year.

But as a consequence, somewhere along that process, it dawned on you that your friends are actually not so different from you. There was no way it was sheer coincidence that nearly everyone you chose to build a bridge towards was fully able of returning the favor.

It occurred to you then that nearly everyone of your age has their philosophical moments, and they too have thought about much the same questions as yourself. You finally learned that you are not some being of higher sentience and cognition. And for many, it is a painful lesson to swallow. But you did, knowing full well that practically everything you believed about your existence would have to be thrown out and forgotten.

At that point, you had come full circle. You had returned with no answers and an endless stream of questions  -- precisely where you began -- save for one important lesson: that you're not special.

The irony is, that was the whole point from the beginning. All along, what you really wanted was confirmation that you weren't alone in your existentialist dilemmas. That's why you felt the need to talk to all those people, and that's why you strove to make every friendship a meaningful one. You had set out to awaken the sheeple, when in truth, all you really wanted was to find people who were just as lost as you.

After all, being special means being alone.

Now when I look at you and how far you've come, it seems that you've found what you came for.

I'm happy for you.

A great man and a good man

A great man is someone who people revere and look up to.
A good man is someone that people respect because he looks them straight in the eyes.

I think I'd rather be a good man.