the very first column

Apparently, I’ve got all the characteristics of a loser: I worry more about my grades than what I wear, I think more about my homework than the opposite gender, and when it comes to hanging out, pretty much everyone has learned not to bother asking me. Oh, and those little things called “iPods?” I’ve never owned one. Besides, what kind of loser writes his column about being a loser?

Despite the glaring evidence, I wasn’t going to accept my “loserhood” so easily. I figured my own family would find some reason to explain how I was most certainly not a loser. After all, we can usually count on our family to provide some level of support, artificial or not. So I asked.

Unfortunately, all I got in return was a big fat yes.

Sure, I could accept the “fact” that I was a loser. But my mind isn’t trained to allow stabs at my pride so easily. I figured this was merely a test of my mental fortitude, and I was determined to convince myself that I was indeed, a winner.

It turns out that, like most things, “loser” is a relative term. The reason I care so much about grades, more so than whether I wear American Eagle or some other “popular” brand, is because I understand their importance. All the walking advertisements for Hollister can laugh now, but like Bill Gates said, “Be nice to the geeks. You might end up working for one.” Coming from a guy who makes 300 dollars a second, you would do well to listen. By the way, did I mention he used to be called a loser?

But it takes more than self- belief to be winner. You must act like a winner as well.

It is not so much what others think of you that creates your image, but what you think of others. We can all learn to treat everyone politely and sincerely. Other than a few habitual changes, doing so would not be of great cost or effort. A simple “no big deal” in place of a “you suck” can make all the difference in maintaining others’ dignity and self-esteem. Acquiring respect is a mutual process. Only by first treating others with respect can you then earn it yourself. Otherwise, one would just pass as cocky.

Whether you are personally a winner or not is actually not important. What matters is that you can recognize the winner in others.